Oct 17, 2008

Two in one day.....

What can I say? I'm bored.

Why won't my laptop charge? =( Not cool man. I'm on the desktop and it's cold in here and I'd rather be under my big ole blanket, watching shit I have on my DVR. But no. I'm addicted to stupid messenger and I kinda haven't gotten used to my new phone's keyboard yet. Sue me.

This song on the Pussycat Dolls CD speaks to me. I have no idea why. lol It's not like Nicole is singing what my heart is saying right now, or anything. hahahahahahahaha (shut up Ebby. I don't mean all of it. =P)

Naw. I'm good. I'm done. I'm calm. Shit. I was calm to begin with, I just let my emotional ass let panic and confusion invade my spirit. That's my damn bad. Whatever. I'm a rider. I will have what I want. I don't doubt it. It's too......proper for it not to happen. And if you know me (and why the fuck are you reading this if you don't, lol), then you know that I am not a decisive person. I waffle. I waver. I can be persuaded (sometimes).
So when I know something, when I feel it, that's...it. Don't believe me? I refer you to my damn tattoo deliberations. Ha!

I want to make some apologies. I thought about it, and I lied earlier today. I have been naughty. *coy devil eyes* So here goes (you'll know who I'm talking to if you're supposed to):

-I'm sorry that I let myself be so swayed by panic that you got dragged into this mess. It's not your fault that you are who and what you are. I wasn't surprised by your actions and as such, I shouldn't have let things escalate to the point to where you were confronted and abused. While I will never like you or your actions, it is not my place to judge you for them nor to allow my anger to cause you harm or discomfort.

-I'm sorry that we are not who we should be. I love you and I never should have let my self centered nature make you feel like you were not important to me or that I did not wish you all the happiness in the world. Over the past two years I have learned who my real friends are and you deserve a place on that list, though you may no longer wish to be there.

-I'm sorry that you are a stupid, bitch made ass pussy. ( LOL Change of pace, people) Don't worry. I'll be there to remind you in case these next 7 days cause some memory loss.

-I'm sorry that you drive me crazy. I'm sorry that I can't think straight when it comes to you. I'm sorry that I frustrate you. I'm sorry that I drive you, lol. *insert the hair pulling smiley* Know this: I adore you. You deserve a medal for dealing with my emotional, irrational, loud, crazy, selfish, spoiled, high maintenance little self. Ass. =D "You're not the boss of me!"

Okay. I can't take it anymore. I need my tv. Peace.

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