May 30, 2008

When you miss someone

It sucks.
Like hell.

Life is not fair.

May 29, 2008


Can't go into details until I've got more things in place but I am so fucking excited about my Christmas present!


I had a set back earlier this year, but I'm back on track and life is good.


May 28, 2008

The word independent is used by broke women to justify being broke

Independent means "I don't want your money"
Self sufficient means "I don't need your money......but I will take the money if the money is there."

LMAO. This.........should be interesting when it finally comes out.

May 22, 2008

For my girl D......

I ain't got shit else to say.
D already hit it out the park.
For your viewing pleasure, because the internet never forgets.

Silly Hoe - TLC

May 20, 2008

Real Quick

I've got a longer post coming, but figured you can never blast on a cunt bitch too many times, so here's the preview.

When even my mother, who is quite the tolerant person considering the way she deals with the things that I do in my life, reacts to hearing about your fuckery with "But she's sleeping with her ex boyfriend's father. She's not special", you know you're a cunt.

How do old balls taste? Maybe I should get into the trophy girlfriend business. Do you have to flavor them first?

May 19, 2008

If you don't want me talking to you.....

then don't fucking talk to me, dumb ass.

Subject: thread disruptions PRINT

Amazing Images
05/19/08 8:24 PM
I've noticed in the forums that you rarely have anything useful or helpful to say. If you encounter a thread started by me, do not participate. I am not interested in what you have to say. Not now, not ever.

MelissaLynnette LaDiva
05/19/08 8:34 PM
(Message read)
I never would have noticed you before, but now I'll pay special attention.

Although, if you truly were not interested in anything I had to say, you wouldn't have fucking sent me a message. You would have ignored me.

Amazing Images
05/19/08 8:44 PM
No, I sent you a message to let you know to butt out of my threads BECAUSE I don't want to hear from you!!!!!! And I don't want replies from you either! Now get back on your high horse and piss off.


Model Mayhem FTW!!!

May 16, 2008

Blame it on the bourbon slushes

It quite possibly might be the alcohol, not that I care, but I'm in a bitch ass mood.

People suck, I feel fat, and if I had a pet, I'd probably kick it right now. Yeah.......nice, huh?

Some shit has been sitting on my mind lately, and in typical Melissa fashion, I've been trying not to dwell on it because shit like that is counter productive to the now. If you let yourself get too bogged down in the details, you never get anywhere. But hey, apparently bourbon is a depressing ass drink, because it feels like the shit just hit the fan.

Fuck you. No, not you.....YOU. How dare you say some shit like that to me and think it's okay? How dare you fucking fix your mouth (fingers since it was a text message) to say some bullshit like that to a grown woman and expect her reaction to be anything less than "Nigga, is you crazy?!?"?

And fuck me for letting it affect me to the point that I am STILL thrown by that shit. I'm better than this. Damn better. Sigh.

Quick rants:

-You are a bitch, I am sick of your bullshit and I will not hesitate to do what I can to make your life a living fucking hell if you don't quit playing the fuck around.
-You are thisclose to me putting your whack ass, limp dick self on blast. Keep pushing it nigga.
-If you think I'm talking about you, you're probably wrong. Stop being so paranoid.

May 15, 2008

According to Cristal, modesty is for old people

Hot shit, right? Me=Jealous

Anyway, her newest blog is too funny. Go read it.



Make it stop.


May 11, 2008

Shon, hun, you aren't gay

"You just don't like vagina."


I'm an ass.

Oh, and I actually ended up in that episode of Numbers. w00t for me I guess.

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love (US Version)

Leona Lewis makes me happy.

So right now I'm waiting on the rest of my pics from my trip to Houston and Shreveport and have finally (FINALLY) said "fuck it" with regards to designing my website myself.

I was determined to do it. I mean, I took the class and got an "A". But, uh, yeah. I have the ADD, so it was just not meant to be. Boo.

Tim is going to do it for me, since he's already hosting my domain and it's gonna be supaire cool. Tim knows what he's doing (he took the class too lol) and now my site will actually launch before the next Ice Age. Now all I have to do is talk Ransom into getting over his love of shooting me with a designer handbag and nothing else and I might actually have something to stick on there. (I'm gonna get yelled at for that. :D)

Ooh! D's Playboy Special Edition came out. Here's the link: Daniela Victoria

She is hotness and sexiness and a bunch of other things that make me love her to death, even though checking her out at the Dallas airport made me feel dirty......but a good dirty. She owes me a bottle of wine the next time I go to NY.

Sidenote: Vilayna aka The Hottest Chick I've Ever Seen, is also in that issue. Miss Lasalle

I am so glad that my grandmother is here while I'm here. It means that I get to be well fed. Which goes against these 5 pounds that don't need to exist on my body, but man. She makes cakes. From scratch. I'll run a lot when I hit Vegas (or Atlanta) to make up for it I guess.

zomg, I'm sleepy. Happy Mother's Day, y'all.

May 9, 2008

Hatin Ass Hoes

I wrote this last year and published it on my personal My Space page, but today I was inspired to move it here.


Hatin Ass Hoes

I think it's time again for someone to say this because it doesn't seem to be getting through to a lot of you.

There is no reason to be mad at a chick just because she's talking to a dude you like. It's immature, petty and completely unladylike.

Let me impart some advice:

The way to fuck a man (or whatever you want to do with him) is NOT to whine, bitch or complain about the chick he is currently fucking. The way to fuck a man (or whatever you want to do with him) is to step your damn game up and go get him. The only time to ever let some other chick stand in the way of a man you want is if he is married. Marriage is (or at least it should be) a sacred union that no one has the right to mess around with.

Let me make that plain for you hood rats out there: If a man is married, don't be a sleazy tramp and try to fuck him anyways. It's tacky, classless, completely unladylike and whorish to boot. I don't care if the entire time he was engaged the two of you were hooking up like crazy, after he says "I do", you DON'T.

Now, back to dudes that aren't settled in relationships or what have you. The man that you want is the only important party involved in your quest to hand over your goodies on a silver platter. Any and all females he might or might not be dealing with do not concern you. They do not concern you because they are not what is standing in the way of you getting to him. He is the one standing in the way of you getting to him. If he chooses to only have one girl at a time, either wait your turn or convince him that his current chick is old news. If he is a slut and doesn't care about monogamy, then take his rejection as a hint that he just doesn't want you. Either way, he and no one else is influencing his decision to not sleep with your tacky ass. Sorry.

No amount of glaring at or gossiping about the girl he is involved with is going to make him want you. Only you can make him want you. Ladies are you hearing me? I don't think some of you are. I think this calls for an anecdote.

In my wild and crazy youth there was a man. Actually, there was a healthy amount of men, but this one in particular. He was tall, smart, funny and unimaginably sexy. He still is. Anyway, I wanted him. I flirted, I teased, I threw him coy smiles and guess what? I got him. Now, to do this I had to pretty much ignore his girlfriend, which was kinda shady of me since we were on friendly like terms, but I was such a raging bitch at 18 so I get a pass. When she found out (and I still to this day have no idea how she did that) she got all in my face about it. She spread lies about me, talked shit about me, glared at me surrounded by her high and mighty friends, the works. But uh, she stayed with him. And he stayed with me. In fact, after they broke up and moved on, we still continued to, uh, well you get my drift.

Now, what lesson did we all learn from this? We learned that no female is going to stand in the way of the man you want. If it seems like I'm repeating myself, it's because I am. Because no matter how much sense what I'm saying makes, I know that there are still gonna be a legion of tacky, uncute, chubby, classless hootchies and aging baby mamas getting mad when the dude they like ain't payin them no attention. Get over it heffas!

LMAO.......I'm so evil when I'm trying to act bad.

May 8, 2008

Wow. Just imagine if I actually had a big ass.

How much more would y'all be freaking out? LOL

So yeah, the below pic, which is from a shoot I did for Currency Magazine,, has apparently ruffled some feathers.

(c) Daniella Renee

So anyway. I put the pic up on my facebook page with like 5 other new images yesterday, but no one wants to look at those. They want to make silly comments about my ass.

Especially a certain someone from whom I have not heard (by text, email, or phone) in over a month. But all of a sudden she is concerned about my ass' location.

The screen shot from Facebook

I don't know. Maybe some of the people closest to me didn't get the memo, so here goes.

I am a model!

And as much as I hate to label myself because I feel that I have proven myself to be versatile and flexible, when we get down to it, I am a glamour/beauty model.

That means that the majority of the time, I will have on as little clothing as possible. I will even very often be *gasp* nude. Big fucking deal.

That is all.

May 7, 2008

I have a (not so) new girl crush

Is it still a girl crush if you'd actually make out with the person given the chance?

Anyway, Kim Kardashian is officially the hotness. Even if her ass is probably fake and she needs to give me the number to her surgeon. (So does Lola Luv for that matter)

Her official website

Her family's show, Keeping up with the Kardashians, has that perfect balance of complete reality tv trashiness and absolute adorable fun.

Oh, and she has somehow managed to spend a bunch of time dating Reggie Bush, who is sexiness personified. Automatic inclusion on the list of hotness.

5/9/08 Update

Just had to update with this mind blowing GORGEOUS picture of this fabulous woman.

May 6, 2008

She's just really skinny

So I'm wandering around Model Mayhem and see this shot that everyone is all in love with. And I guess technically it's a great shot. But I'm not a photographer, so I've never been one to separate the model from the technique when judging a photo. And the chick in the picture was just really skinny. Pretty, yes. And not anorexic skinny, just skinny skinny. And I found it so unattractive that it kinda ruined it for me.

I mean, I'm trying to lose weight. I need a 24 or 25" waist, like, yesterday. I'm not far (26") but we're having willpower issues. But if at all possible, I'd rather have fuller hips and just a tad thicker thighs. Bombshell type body. Not...skinny.

Just something I realized. Now pardon me while I go have another biscuit. Thanks.

May 5, 2008

New Pics

(c) RhoPhotos, Las Vegas

(C)SunArcher Photography, Houston

I am so ashamed of myself.......

So so so ashamed.

But it's okay, because I'm in good company. Vh1 is probably ashamed of themselves right now too.

So.....we all watch Flavor of Love. Don't lie, you know you do. Anyway, I taped tonight's episode when it came on at 11am and got the "sneak peek".

First of all, them niggas ain't in France. They're in La Jolla if they're anywhere.
Those were extras speaking "French" and those "translations" were wack as hell. Seriously. The clincher was the old dude at the "soiree", aka seniors mixer at the country club, drinking with a straw. Since when do old French dudes use straws? Yeah. That's what I thought.

Aaaaaaaanyway, I'm only writing this because I spent the whole time yelling "Y'all ain't in France!" every time they mentioned it, and the rest wanting to smack Sinceer. Dumb trick. Man, was I glad when he called Thing 2 back out. Greatest moment of the season. For real. Even better than Sinceer's dad being a drunk fucker the episode before.

And the fact that I know any of this is why I am ashamed. Lord help me.

Funny shit

May 3, 2008

Yo. We're not cool like that.

So don't make the mistake that we are. It's irritating.

If I have never sent you a text or instant message, if you don't have your own ring tone, if you have no idea who I'm sleeping with, then we are not cool like that.

So calm the fuck down with that shit. Talk all bold to somebody else please cuz I don't think it's cute.

May 2, 2008

Mountains Are Pretty...Snow...Not So Much

Okay. The Diva came back home. Some regrouping needs to happen. Some priorities need to be reassessed. Some serious shit needs to change.

And what better way to contemplate one's life than on a scenic road trip from Vegas to KC?

And could someone ask Colorado to get off the crack? It's May. Snow is NOT the business.